Stories From The Tolbert Home

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

New Path

                The girls are finally in bed, dishes are done, house cleaned, agenda is set for tomorrow and I am exhausted. Rather than going to bed all I want to do is sit in the silence, and soak it in! I have so many emotions lately. I am mostly feeling overwhelmed, yet blessed. We recently chose to pull Dana from her school and home school her. It was something that was always a thought in my head, but to be honest I would never entertain that thought due to fear. Well with recent circumstances and my husband now reaching the 5 months mark of being laid off...I just HAD to entertain the thought one more time. Once I actually thought about it more and more...I got brave and prayed about it. How dumb does that sound! I realized how I was trying to control my own answer, why in the world would I not just give it to God! Once Kraiger and I agreed to pray about it, my answer came came with peace as well....which made the rest fall into place. We pulled her out the following week!
               We had her cirriculum already from her school, we ordered the teachers manuals and started the process. It took a few days to turn my pantry into my new office! Oh pictures to come. It is amazing finding out how much space you actually have when you go through your things and realize what you need and don't need. Then in our laundry room I put up a white board. So our day consists of her normal schedule she follows at school, I do most of the teaching in our laundry room, which is quite big. Then when she does her papers I let her choose where she goes, sometimes she goes to her room, sometimes the table, sometimes the floor or a corner. I always look at her with such gratitude as she peacefully does her work. I have a new sense of satisfaction teaching her the lessons. Especially bible. WOW to be able to lay her foundation at such a sponge age!! She is surprisingly adjusting very well! Ava does great, she usually grabs a book and sits next to Dana.
           Again, I say this every time I post, but I cannot help but be thankful in this time. Sometimes it takes a little shoving to get me to obey but eventually I get there. Trying to get better about this.
I do not know what the future holds, but as for now I know that I am in control of raising my two precious little girls and what better time to bond with them than now. My house does not stay as clean, my things do not get done as quick, I am so exhausted I could cry, but yet I have such a peace...and doesn't God's peace all understanding....and or questions??? I think so!
          In all of our new recent endeavors I am trying to remind myself that I need to take care of me as well. I get so exhausted all I want to do is sit by the time everything is done. Half the time I forget to eat, then eat to much...then skip the workout sessions. I was thrilled when I found out the YMCA that we are already a member of offers a CO OP program for Dana's age that is 2 hours 2 days a week. So I can take her to get her PE in while I get to have mine! The other days I am going to set a goal to do a walk or jog, or chase the kids in the back yard, pull them in a wagon..there are lots of things but either way if I do not feel healthy, it will just make me even more tired.

Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, lean not on your own understanding
in all your ways acknowledge him, and He will direct your paths

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