Stories from the Tolbert Home: Things like self control and being silly like a Bonga

I have been so anxious to sit down and write! So to start we have been homeschooling Dana now for 2 weeks. Yay, we have survived that long! The bond that her and I have found in the past couple weeks is the kind I could never pay for! I seem to have a routine down, and I try not to get uptight on days when we have to forget the routine and just go with the flow. She is teaching me patience:) I loved how I could teach her something, and she would kind of struggle with it at first and then after practicing a few times, I would see the light bulb click and she would figure it out.

I took the girls out in the back yard one day last week and put them in the wagon we have and I ran all over the place with it! It was my form of exercise, and also a way to incorperate science into our afternoon. We looked at the trees budding, we looked at the swamp in the back, and got to talk about all the plants that will be coming. I truly feel we made the best decision to pull her out of school at this time in her life. She seemed to be at a point of constantly butting heads with us. We were all very frustrated with her(yes the whole house) she just seemed so stressed all the time. Now that I am with her on a day to day basis, I see that her needs are far more important than my own schedule.I love her more than words could describe! It truly takes all my effort to stick with her schooling, and try to take care of Ava as well as the house, and prepare dinner, pay bills, and keep up with everything else. The changes I see in her make it all worth it. She is the type of personality that loves hard, and is a very emotional child. So she needed me to be with her heart to heart and that is what we have been doing.

I teach her a different bible lesson each day, and I have been trying to go through the bible and pick out the foundation stories. Basics. It was fun to teach them and then later see her apply what she learned. We have been talking about self control.As I "oh so motherly like" teach her to have self control and patience in life...concerning her sister mostly, but also concerning how she spends money, how she handles it when she gets hurt...I find myself teaching myself! HAHA I heard something today from Mel Berglund concerning Holiness. He said that to have holiness is to have self control. In life you cannot just indulge in anything and everything, at some point I hope to practice and be an example to my children that having self control will get them through all situations.

We went from living a very frivilous lifestyle to now a very simple one. It has brought so much peace to my heart. I am so thankful to have to be brought back to the "basics" that I so quickly overlooked in the beginning of out marriage! Or even in the beginning of being a mom! You get so caught up in the day to day routine that before you know it, they are 7 and you have forgot to bond with them! My girls are my life, and I live my life to raise them in the way that they should go, but I started to see myself fall into the trap of the proud parent. We put Dana in every sport she wanted, every activity, every school thing, any new toy she wants....pretty much spoiled her rotten because she is the first child....I seemed to have forgotten to sit down and touch her heart. I hate to think of it that way, but I know it is true because of the change I have seen in her. Her acting out was a way of asking for us to just sit and laugh with her.

So for the funny stuff this week. Ava Jane is just crazy. She makes up for the easy toddler that Dana was. This week after everyone had left out house after Life Group, I tell her to go and get her pajamas on, next thing I know she is completely naked, jumping on her trampoline...apparently she just wanted to feel free after people left. She also has learned that she can call Dana any name and if she says it with a certain tone, it will make Dana mad enough to cry. Her word of the week....BONGA. Never heard of this word, but Ava made it up...So here is how it goes.(Ava) Dana you are a Bonga(in a very teasing voice) Dana, I am NOT a Bonga!I come in to see what they are now on the ground wrestling about, and as Ava calmly smiles at me, and Dana is bawling Ava says " I did nothing" and walks away, Dana is screaming and saying "SHE CALLED ME A BONGA" I'm Like Dana what is a Bonga? "I DONT KNOW ITS A COW PROBABLY" Lol. Sisters! I love the words that my little 3 year old comes up with and I love to see them work it out! I think it is teaching Dana patience! HA

Another moment of having to learn my own lessons....concerning self control and patience. I ask Kraiger if he would mind to mop the kitchen. Normally I am very picky, and prefer to do it myself because to be honest he is a guy....that says it all. But I was in a hurry and it was bugging me so I asked if he would. I go in to the kitchen and he has started mopping and I notice he is wearing his muddy shoes(mistake number 1) and next I notice he did not sweep....I calmly as why he did not sweep? He looks at me like "was I suspposed to you said mop?" I wanted to cry, but instead went in the next room and laughed. We are going on our 7 year Anniversary and you would think these simple things would be in the already know list for men, but then again if they knew it, they would be asked to do it more often.

I am enjoying this stage in our life, I am trying to record the memories and keep them in my mind. But more importantly I hope to put an imprint on my girl's heart that they will tell their children about one day!