A little history of my pregnancy. We delivered our third baby Kallen, C-section. His shoulders were large, according to the ultra sound, and we prayed about it and chose to go that route and we had peace. I knew as soon as we found out we were pregnant again I never wanted to do that again if I could choose not to. The healing was ridiculous for me, and I still feel pain from it to this day. So we found a doctor and hospital that allows you to have a V-BAC (vaginal birth after cesarean). They gave some ground rules to help make this happen. Eat healthy and stay fit because you will want all the strength you can to help you deliver. It was a concern because it takes a full 18 months to heal after a C-Section, and Kallen was only 8 months old. BUT we really had peace about this route.
At about 38 weeks, I was getting anxious! Any day now! The doctor checked me and told me I was looking good to have an early baby! That was the hope because this hospital did not currently allow inductions for V-BAC patients. The last thing I wanted was a C-section. So every possible thing that could be done to help this baby come naturally…was done. My membranes were stripped at each appointment, in fact they did this more than once in one appointment. It was awful, but I was willing to do whatever it took. I was really starting to stress out when I was 40 weeks and they informed me that if I did not deliver by 41 weeks then that was it. I cried every single day. I always had peace until about 3pm, then it would dawn on me that another day was closing and I would lose it. Not to mention the 1,000 dear friends and family who were also anxiously awaiting, no pressure right.
The Sunday before I had Hudson, our pastor spoke. I do not remember everything that was taught or the summary. I remember what I heard and took hold of for myself. That my God cares about all the details of my life, even the small ones that no one knows but you. I was 40 weeks and 3 days. I went home and relaxed. I refused to do anything else to bring this baby on. I knew whatever was to happen would, and I could not control it. Monday came…and went. My husbands brother was in town, we were having so much fun and at the same time I knew that he flew out Thursday the day I would be 41 weeks. He would miss seeing the baby, and that made me sad.
They called me to tell me they had made an exception and would induce me Thursday, and in a way I was thrilled! At least I knew I would not be going the route I dreaded. Deep inside I wanted more than anything to have it our way, to go into labor on my own. So Monday night, my husbands brother, wife, and their daughter spent the night. It was fun! We stayed up late, let the kids play, and laughed! Just what I needed!
3:30 am I woke up to go pee…and told my husband I had a dream I was contracting. I layed back down, and it hit me…HARD. I was so excited to feel an actual contraction, I fell back asleep and it happened again. I ignored it the best I could, not getting excited. After probably an hour of this I started to time them. I was so sure it was not the real thing that I did not wake my husband. They were about 10 minutes apart. When this was still going on at 6:30 I called my mom and told her to take her suitcase with her to work just in case. At 7, our alarm clock went off. I got up and they stalled. I figured that would happen, so I got dressed to join my husband and his brother at the gym. We got there at 8am. I had a few more contractions, so I decided to walk the track. I felt like I was leaking, or had some discharge. It was very common. But my hopes were starting to get high. I went to the bootcamp class my husband was in, and they were squatting with bars. I was like " give me one of those, I need this baby out!" So I did squats with them, felt more leakage. I went to walk upstairs, and got about halfway around the track and my water broke. WITHOUT a DOUBT! Thank God for my 3 layers of clothing that held it all in. I was soaked, so I calmly got my husband and let him know. I told a few people, they were squealing and I was ever so calm, still not believing anything was happening. I was in shock.
We went home, changed, and I was still not really contracting. I was calm enough I told my husband to stop for coffee for himself. As they were getting coffee (45 min after my water broke) I got a hard enough contraction it made me cry. And about hurt the lady chatting it up to us. Poor the coffee NOW!
We were off to the hospital. I got there, and they let us know they were completely full. It took them an hour to come find me in triage. I was delirious. They checked me, yes my water broke! DUH I told them that. I was at a 3. This was at 10:45ish. I was hoping to be much further along, but who cares, this was the real deal.
They took me to a room, and told me to squat so I could further dilate and get my contractions closer together. She left and I started skipping that room. I squatted, lunged, hopped. I was determined. All that fun ended about 10 minutes in, when my contractions really started coming. They were 5 min apart. I knew that was no big deal yet, but they were unusually strong. My mind was not in a pleasant place. My husband was awesome, kept praying with me, talking to me, and he snuck me food. Yea it was our 4th child I could care less about all the rules HAHA. I needed fuel! My contractions were about 3 min apart, they came in and checked me about 2 hours later, I was still a 3. I wanted to scream. It was unbearable pain in my mind. But I knew they were 3 min apart I could wait for them to get closer. 3 more hours passed. I must have blacked out. I do not know how that much time passed. It was in those 2 or 3 hours that I went crazy. Like on the movies crazy. I was sitting on a ball, on the side of the bed, biting the sheets to keep from screaming. I thought I was being ridiculous but that did not matter, it was horrid. My husband tried to rub my back at one point and I could not talk to tell him to stop so his foot was stomped on. I apologized after. I could not even laugh, but he sure was smiling. Good man.
When they were one minute apart we called them in, I was so tired I was shaking. They checked me…still …..A….3. I immediately screamed for the epidural. My sweet husband refused to let me, like I so trained him to do. I cried and cried and promised him it was what I wanted. The nurse said if I was able to relax I would dilate. So I got the epidural, and before it even set it, I started shaking very badly. I could still feel the contractions hard and something was up. She checked me and sure enough 5 min later here I was at a 6. My mind had relaxed more. I was thrilled. My epidural was very light, and I was still able to move the entire time. She said the way that I was shaking it would not be too much longer. That was 6pm. At 7 they checked me and I was a 9. They said he was still very high up though.
My husband text everyone at 7 and said we were going to start pushing. The doctor came in and said " I could allow you to push for an hour and your baby will come, or we can wait for your body to naturally bring him down, and flip him around because he is sunny side up." I chose to wait. I had to get on oxygen, he was dropping his heart rate. We found out later it was his cord wrapped around his shoulder. So again, they were so busy, I rarely got checked on. The nurse was by my side most of the night from that point on though, because I was a 10 and baby could drop out of no where. So she was ready. I sat up in a sitting position to help him move down. I attempted to push a few times, but he was not moving. So finally at 11:50 I told the nurse I was ready to push, my doctor was in a c-section so we began! I will never forget the feeling. My epidural was very light, and he was BIG. Well for me, he felt big! He started to come out, and I remember them telling me to hold on, wait for a contraction to push, and he just felt so big hanging out inside of me….you know…about to fall out, I could not wait and just kept pushing. He was born at 11:59!! The doctor rushed in, stitched me up, ran back out. It was me, my husband, the nurse, and our sweet boy. I held him for almost an hour while they cleaned up. They had cut the cord and just let me hold him. My nurse was the best, she shooed everyone away, and told them to bath him and weigh him later. I could not have asked for a more precious birth. I knew at that moment holding my sweet boy that my very personal God who cares about every small detail of my life had done what he does best.
He weighed 8lbs 12 oz. and was 20 inches long. His hair was dark, it was long, his eyes were perfect, his nose, his fingers. He took our breath away. Each one has had a way with my heart.
The kids adjusted to him quickly. Kallen has done well besides being a normal 18 month old who likes to help but does not understand, soft, slow, or quiet. But in these 3 weeks I have learned more patience than I have ever known. I have learned to slow down, and sit with my babies. I will not lie, I am still in the stage of overwhelmed. But each day seems easier, and I am learning to take any help I can, and ask for advice!
We are loving this sweet down time with our family, and enjoying this big family we truly prayed for.
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