Stories From The Tolbert Home

Saturday, May 23, 2015

A Child's Heart.

As of late God has really been talking to my heart. Sometimes He whispers ever so softly and my life is so loud I seem to not know it is Him. Life has slowed down a bit as we are staying in the country while we wait for our next home to open up. Sometimes I think God lives in the country or He lives in  my laundry room. It is those places I just hear Him the best. I live a life of distraction far too often and I seem to hear Him as of late calling me to hear what He is saying, like really hear what He is saying to ME PERSONALLY.

I have always had a specific prayer for my children. It is " God please let them know you are their God too." When they go through hard times, when their attitudes seem to come straight from the pits of the hot place {HA}, when they do something wrong that may shock me...I try and not just rescue them out. I try not to make excuses for their behavior. I try to really sit down at their level and speak to their heart about why they may have made that choice.
That grumpy face

My older girls are old enough our conversation may sound like this" I know you are feeling wrong about what you just did. In fact I have noticed that your attitude has been off lately, how does your heart feel? Does it feel heavy lately? Or do you feel light and happy?" 

The answer is almost always followed with tears as they tell me they feel heavy. Why would a small child feel heavy? Even their little selves know when they aren't making a good choice. I know when I get to snapping at everyone around me and taking everything personal that I probably need to go sit in the corner {in time out} and talk to Jesus! 

I take them back to the root of when their attitude started. Sometimes they do not know why they feel so off, other times they admit that maybe they were upset with something I had said earlier and were feeling bitter. Whatever the case is, I allow them to speak to me and learn where it started and truly ask if that feels good to them. I want them to know for themselves whom they will serve. I want them to make that choice. I hope so much that they will live a life for the ONE who loves them more than I ever could. It has to be their choosing though.
The only innocent one in the bunch. Not for long

I have many mornings where there is a little prayer meeting right in the living room because they just really realized they WANT to have God's love in their heart. We all get off track and make wrong choices.

In fact as of late my heart sure feels heavy hearing of so many different families that I personally look up to making mistakes. Like HUGE mistakes. I gasp when I read of others sins. I instantly judge how they must parent. I wonder what in the world they entertain themselves with. I question them. {I forget I make mistakes too}

We live in a society where blogging is the thing. Maybe it is just myself, but I LOVE to read mommy blogs! If you are telling me how to parent, if you are cooking up something that will feed my family for 45 days for 14.00 (HAHA), do my laundry for 6 people in 6 minutes, if you are telling me how to have a wonderful marriage, how to repurpose that old furniture of mine...I WANT TO KNOW IT ALLLLL! 

Sometimes when I sit down to the read the Word of God. I get lost. Can I be real here? I start thinking about laundry. I have to really focus. I receive best when someone else breaks it down for me. I love to hear how your kids made you so crazy that you flipped a table on them and then felt bad so you went and received of God and here is what He said to you. OK That was extreme.... Do you get what I am saying though?

More and more lately I hear God calling to me, putting a scripture in my mind. Talking to me personally as I slow down to listen. I hear him telling me what I tell my children so often. " I AM your God." I forget that He loves me the same. When others fall, I hurt so much watching them. I all of a sudden get nervous that the life they live that I have watched through their online blogging, or through their books, or tv show may throw me off! I forget that the fountain of knowledge that they so freely share comes from the exact source that I may get so distracted reading! HE IS MY GOD TOO! I can glean from other mamas all day every day, there is nothing wrong with that. BUT it is ever so important for me to always remember He cares for me and the things that they suggest doing in parenting or in marriage..(maybe not crocking because there were no crockpots in the bible) all come from the source of the bible. I have that same book. I read it. But here is to reading it with a new purpose...and knowing full well that the same scripture that struck others to begin teaching their children this or that will strike me too and help me as well.

Here is to always learning, growing, and touching our children's hearts. Here is to leading them to know Jesus Christ as THEIR God.


  1. Great thoughts. :) Always enjoy when you share your heart.

    Along the lines of something you said, was just thinking the other day...
    Men will fail you. God will never fail, He is faithful and consistent and pure until the end.
    And when men fail it gives us a good look in the mirror as questions and insecurities arise... was I following man, or am I following Jesus? And you are right. Drinking in His Word is time well spent with Him. And even when our mind wanders to the menu plan or the laundry He is planting seeds that His Spirit can quicken in us in time of need.
    Love you friend.

    1. How funny that you said the words consistent and faithful, I just emailed the ladies of the church and said my word was faithful for the year that I want to use. LOVE it! I like the reminder and words you added